Entering the World of

In the previous article, we mentioned youth with "hidden" experiences participating in a “monologue” art exhibition by joining a project called "BLOG", letting the public know deeper about their stories. Today, we introduce Benson, who not only tells his story through art but also expresses his inner world through coffee......

Listening to a Youth's Story While Enjoying a Cup of Coffee

The exhibition was held at a cafe in Sai Wan, where one session allowed visitors to order a coffee that was created by the “hidden” youth. The young creator of that chosen coffee would personally serve the drink, followed by a deep talk session with the visitor.

I ordered a coffee called "Inconsistent," and while waiting for the young creator, I listened to a recording of Benson, the creator, sharing his story. I was deeply moved by the recording. Soon, a youth approached me and introduced himself, "Hello, I'm Benson." I couldn't imagine that this young man had gone through so much. He then shared his story with me, showing great courage in opening up to a stranger. I truly cherished this sincere and deep conversation. With his permission, I would like to share his story with you:

Benson is 28 years old, after graduating from secondary school, he worked as a warehouse clerk, a Western pastry chef, a waiter, and more, but none of the jobs lasted long. He faced a lot of criticism and no recognition at work, leading to significant setbacks. After several years of working and not working, Benson gradually spent his days at home, and over time, he became "afraid to go out," remaining hidden at home for five years.

His only "refuge" was at home. He longed for societal recognition but was labeled as a "hidden youth" or "waste youth." Did he really want to stay home forever? No, no... Can anyone understand his loneliness of being misunderstood by society? To whom could he express his conflicting emotions?

"At home with nothing to do, I would pace back and forth, from morning till night"

Being hidden at home wasn't as comfortable as people might think. "Besides eating, I just paced around the house, and after that, I would sleep because I didn't dare to go out, so I could only walk at home." Two years later, Benson found staying at home boring, but he was also afraid to leave. He even felt fear at home, "I would feel scared at home, my heart would race, I would sweat a lot, couldn't sleep at night, had stomach issues, and couldn't eat..." Eventually, he saw a doctor and was diagnosed with anxiety, and was advised to take medication to manage the condition. Benson later felt that the medication did not significantly improve his anxiety, so he searched online for relevant services。He eventually found there is a project serving “hidden” youth called "BLOG" offered by the Hong Kong Christian Service and proactively sought help.

"Don't be too harsh on yourself; give yourself time to grow"

Benson shared that when he was a Western pastry chef, he cared a lot about customers’ feedback and took all criticism personally, feeling very defeated. "On the feedback forms, there were usually no compliments, only a lot of criticism. Initially, I would change something every time once I received feedback, but no matter how I changed, there was always criticism..."

Gradually, he realized that everyone's tastes are different, and it's impossible to satisfy everyone. Doing his best is good enough. "The old me would often deny myself, with many standards limiting me. Now, I remind myself to be more flexible. If there's something I didn't do well, I have to admit it. Maybe at that moment, that's all I could do, but it doesn't mean I can't do it in the future. I also remind myself not to blame myself after being criticized or to dwell on it repeatedly, thinking I didn't do well."

These changes in mindset came from insights gained after joining the project. In the "BLOG" service, Benson tried different work placements, such as being an activity assistant in youth and elderly centres, gradually accumulating positive feedback. Social worker also reviewed with him how to improve next time, facilitating him regain confidence in himself. "I used to think compliments were just polite words, and I would fully accept criticism without doubt. Now, when facing criticism, I will think about how to improve, but if it is an attack, I would not accept that kind of “criticism”. If I'm praised, I acknowledge that I did well."

"Someone is willing to accompany you, even if you feel unworthy of companionship"

Benson recalled that during his internship, he encountered setbacks and considered quitting the program. He thought the social worker, Sita, would persuade him not to leave, but Sita told him, "If you're tired, take a good rest. It's okay to stop; I'll be here with you." Benson was deeply moved by Sita's words. "I fear failure and being rejected, but the social worker filled the gap in my sense of security and confidence," he said. "She was willing to accompany me, even when I felt unworthy of companionship. When I didn't believe in myself, she believed in me."

During the process, with the support, companionship, and understanding of the social worker, Benson decided to continue trying the services. He recovered gradually and learned to live with his anxiety, realizing that it wasn't a big deal—"Feel it; actually, having anxiety isn't such a big deal.”

Social worker Sita believes that many "hidden" youths are very kind, but at the same time, they are very lonely and misunderstood by others. Just like kittens—they are curious about the world but also very sensitive. As soon as there’s any disturbance outside, they retreat to their safest environment. However, as long as you can patiently guide them, there is actually a lot of room for growth.

Benson told Sita, "It's like I have many thorns on me. These thorns prick me and also those who care about me, but you helped me remove them. Thank you!"

This time, Benson met Sita. If we encounter different young people next time, I hope that we can appreciate the uniqueness of each youth and embrace each difference.

Benson's Art: Wandering in Solitude

The preliminary work for the monologue art exhibition included expressive arts growth groups, beverage mixing workshops, and art media experience workshops. Besides expressing Benson’s feelings through coffee, he also used photography to depict his "hidden" state:

//This is my perspective and feelings during my hidden time. I'm also curious and value your feelings. You're invited to write your thoughts about the photos on a memo and stick it on the wall.//

Photography Introduction (from top left to top right, then from bottom left to bottom right):"

"Forgotten"

//In a dark alley, time stands still, a lonely existence in a forgotten corner of the world.//

"Unease"

//In the damp shadows, a feeling of unease creeps up, like the body is covered in seaweed.//

"Oppression"

//Among crowded buildings, anxiety behind a smile, like hidden walls, oppressing every breath.//

"Palpitations"

//In a place crowded with people, the heartbeat like a drum, fearing the moment of being watched, feeling every gaze exploring my vulnerability.//

"Perhaps you were lonely when you were hidden, but now you have us to face it with you"

Expressive arts therapist and assistant curator Winnie Fung shared that she noticed Benson hesitated to press the shutter during photography workshops. When asked why, Benson responded, "I'm afraid of affecting people, no matter if it's a good or bad influence. It's like the butterfly effect; any movement can cause everything to move. I'm afraid of any impact." Hearing this, Winnie gained a deeper understanding of the emotions behind their silence and "hidden" state. "At that moment, I connected with their stillness while hiding. Actually they have so much to say, but their way of loving the world is different: by not disturbing it, they choose not to move..."

Winnie hopes to convey an important message to the young people involved in the exhibition and those with hidden experiences: "Perhaps you were lonely when you were hidden, but now you have us to face it with you." The exhibition received positive feedback over two days, and the visitors were very sincere. However, Winnie wants to encourage the youth, "We should cherish the beauty of these two days, but we must also know that after leaving this space, society may not change much. But we know that we are the ones changing. Even though the exhibition ends, personal growth is ongoing and to be continued..."

Indeed, changing is never easy, and witnessing change is even a long process. However, I often remember this saying: "We do not persist because we see hope; we see hope because we persist." Let's start with ourselves and become the change we wish to see. Together, we can drive society to remove stigma. No one can define anyone else, and everyone can become the shape they desire. I hope we can appreciate and support each other.

After visiting the exhibition, as I left the cafe, I saw Winnie hugging the youth, and the cafe owner treating them some cakes. Indeed, a society should be like this, appreciating and embracing diversity. I couldn't help but say, "This scene is truly beautiful!"

P.S. Benson is now a social work student, aspiring to become a good social worker who walks with service users. He is also a peer counsellor for the "BLOG" program, accompanying social workers on home visits, and has been invited to share his experiences at the Singapore International Youth Outreach Service Seminar. His light is shining and reaching farther places. Whether in the past, present, or future, always believe in yourself. Every life is full of infinite possibilities, and each person has their own influence. You may unknowingly become a blessing to others.

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Entering the World of "Hidden" Youth (Part 2)

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Listening to a Youth's Story While Enjoying a Cup of Coffee

"At home with nothing to do, I would pace back and forth, from morning till night"

"Don't be too harsh on yourself; give yourself time to grow"

"Someone is willing to accompany you, even if you feel unworthy of companionship"

Benson's Art: Wandering in Solitude

"Perhaps you were lonely when you were hidden, but now you have us to face it with you"

Register for free

Entering the World of "Hidden" Youth (Part 1)

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Entering the World of "Hidden" Youth (Part 2)

Register for free

Listening to a Youth's Story While Enjoying a Cup of Coffee

"At home with nothing to do, I would pace back and forth, from morning till night"

"Don't be too harsh on yourself; give yourself time to grow"

"Someone is willing to accompany you, even if you feel unworthy of companionship"

Benson's Art: Wandering in Solitude

"Perhaps you were lonely when you were hidden, but now you have us to face it with you"

Register for free

Entering the World of "Hidden" Youth (Part 1)