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}, showMega(type) { if (type != this.currentVisibleMega) { switch (type) { case "about": this.showAboutMega(); break; case "topics": this.showTopicsMega(); break; case "events": this.showEventsMega(); break; case "articles": this.showArticlesMega(); break; case "interactive": this.showInteractiveMega(); break; case "university": this.showUniversityMega(); break; default: this.hideAllMega(); this.currentVisibleMega = type; break; } } } })) }); $(".menu-item a").on("focus", function() { const id = $(this).closest(".menu-item").attr("id"); const showEvent = new Event(`show-mega-${id}`); window.dispatchEvent(showEvent); }); $(".menu-item a").on("blur", function() { setTimeout(() => { console.log("blur"); if ($(".menu-item a:focus").length == 0) { const hideEvent = new Event("hide-all-mega"); window.dispatchEvent(hideEvent); } }, 100); }); </script> <div id="login-form" class="fixed inset-0 h-screen w-screen z-50 overflow-y-scroll no-scrollbar bg-white md:bg-page bg-center bg-cover bg-no-repeat flex flex-row items-stretch justify-center lg:justify-start" x-data="loginData" x-cloak x-show="isLoginPanelVisible" @toggle-login-panel.window="toggleLoginPanel($event.detail)"> <button @click="toggleLoginPanel" class="w-6 h-6 hidden sm:block absolute top-8 right-8"> <img class="lg:hidden" src="https://www.jcthplus.org/wp-content/themes/1.0/assets/icons/cross-gray.svg" alt="Close icon" > <img class="hidden lg:block" src="https://www.jcthplus.org/wp-content/themes/1.0/assets/icons/cross-white.svg" alt="Close icon"> </button> <div class="hidden lg:flex flex-grow max-w-1/2 lg:justify-end xl:justify-center px-10"> <div class="max-w-112 text-5xl font-jinxuanlatte leading-tight text-primary-darker pt-1/4 lg:ml-10" x-show="currentSection == 'login'" x-cloak>歡迎回來<br>一起將照顧自己變成習慣</div> <div class="max-w-112 text-5xl font-jinxuanlatte leading-tight text-primary-darker pt-1/4 lg:ml-10" x-show="currentSection == 'register'" x-cloak>免費登記，開展從心出發之旅。</div> </div> <div class="flex-shrink-0 w-full h-full sm:w-133 bg-white flex flex-col items-center px-4 overflow-y-auto" id="login-form-container"> <div class="w-full sm:hidden pt-4"> <img class="w-6 h-6 cursor-pointer float-right" @click="toggleLoginPanel" src="https://www.jcthplus.org/wp-content/themes/1.0/assets/icons/cross-gray.svg" alt="Close icon" > </div> <div class="flex flex-col items-center mb-32 sm:m-auto"> <div class="max-w-xs md:w-80 flex flex-col items-stretch justify-center no-scrollbar shrink-0 pt-4 m-auto" x-cloak x-show="currentSection === 'register'"> <h3 class="font-jinxuanlatte text-2xl leading-tight text-primary-darker mb-4">我們關注你的個人資料私隱</h3> <p class="text-primary-darker mb-4 tracking-tight">我們不會向第三方透露閣下的個人資料；同時你的身份亦不會被辨認。</p> <form method="POST" class="w-full flex flex-col items-stretch" id="register_form"> <div class="relative"> <input type="email" class="rounded-full w-full bg-gray-200 pl-14 pr-3 py-2.5 border-0 placeholder-content-placeholder tracking-normal" placeholder="電郵地址" required name="user_login" x-model="registerForm.content.user_login"> <i class="fa-solid fa-fw fa-envelope absolute top-2.5 left-6 text-content text-base"></i> </div> <div class="relative mt-4"> <input :type="registerForm.isPasswordVisible ? 'text' : 'password'" class="rounded-full w-full bg-gray-200 pl-14 pr-3 py-2.5 border-0 placeholder-content-placeholder tracking-normal" placeholder="密碼 (最少8個英文字母或符號)" name="user_password" minlength="8" required x-model="registerForm.content.user_password" x-ref="registerPassword"> <i class="fa-solid fa-fw fa-lock absolute top-2.5 left-6 text-content text-base"></i> <button class="absolute right-4 inset-y-0 flex items-center justify-center" type="button" @click="registerForm.isPasswordVisible = !registerForm.isPasswordVisible"> <img class="w-5 h-auto" x-show="registerForm.isPasswordVisible" src="https://www.jcthplus.org/wp-content/themes/1.0/assets/icons/hide-pwd.png" alt="Hide password icon"> <img class="w-5 h-auto" x-show="!registerForm.isPasswordVisible" src="https://www.jcthplus.org/wp-content/themes/1.0/assets/icons/show-pwd.png" alt="Show password icon"> </button> </div> <div class="relative mt-4"> <input teype="text" class="rounded-full w-full bg-gray-200 pl-14 pr-3 py-2.5 border-0 placeholder-content-placeholder tracking-normal" placeholder="推薦碼 (如適用)" name="company_code" x-model="registerForm.content.company_code"> <i class="fa-solid fa-fw fa-building absolute top-2 left-6 text-content text-base"></i> <button class="absolute right-4 inset-y-0 flex items-center justify-center company-code-icon" type="button"> <img class="h-4 w-auto" src="https://www.jcthplus.org/wp-content/themes/1.0/assets/icons/info.png" alt="Information icon"> <div class="absolute -right-4 top-10 bg-gray-600 text-white w-72 py-2 px-4 rounded text-xs z-10 company-code-tooltip"> <p class="text-primary-light text-sm text-center mb-2">甚麼是推薦碼？</p> <p class="text-left mb-2">如果你的機構或公司正與 JCTH+ 合作，或你被選為我們的研究參加者，你應該會收到一個代碼，以便我們為你作出後續安排。</p> <p class="text-left">想了解更多？歡迎電郵至 <a href="mailto:info@jcthplus.org" class="text-primary-light underline">info@jcthplus.org</a></p> </div> </button> </div> <div class="my-4 flex flex-row items-center leading-loose"> <input class="h-4 w-4 border border-gray-400 text-primary" type="checkbox" name="opt_out_update" id="checkbox_opt_out_update" x-model="registerForm.content.opt_out_update"> <label class="text-content text-sm ml-3 tracking-tight" for="checkbox_opt_out_update">我不想接收最新消息和活動通知</label> </div> <div id="register-error" x-show="registerForm.error" class="py-2 px-4 bg-red-100 border border-red-200 rounded-xl flex items-center"> <p class="text-content inline text-sm font-medium flex-grow" x-text="registerForm.error"></p> <img class="w-4 h-4 cursor-pointer" src="https://www.jcthplus.org/wp-content/themes/1.0/assets/icons/cross-gray.svg" alt="Close icon" @click.stop="$('#register-error').slideToggle()"> </div> <div class="g-recaptcha mt-2 mx-auto" data-sitekey="6Lcs0ykiAAAAANK6HqkcTcHgRDCHmnGE-eDiyHZg" data-callback="registerRecaptchaCallback" data-expired-callback="registerRecaptchaExpiredCallback" data-error-callback="registerRecaptchaExpiredCallback"></div> <button type="submit" name="auth-submit" value="sign-up" class="text-base font-bold text-white rounded-full h-11 flex items-center justify-center mt-4 bg-start hover:bg-start-dark disabled:opacity-30" :disabled="isRegisterFormSubmitDisabled" x-data="{isLoading:false}" @click="if($('#register_form')[0].checkValidity()) {isLoading = true}"> <svg x-show="isLoading" class="animate-spin h-5 w-5 text-white mx-auto" viewBox="0 0 24 24"> <circle class="opacity-25" cx="12" cy="12" r="10" stroke="currentColor" fill="transparent" stroke-width="4"></circle> <path class="opacity-75" fill="currentColor" d="M4 12a8 8 0 018-8V0C5.373 0 0 5.373 0 12h4zm2 5.291A7.962 7.962 0 014 12H0c0 3.042 1.135 5.824 3 7.938l3-2.647z"></path> </svg> <span x-show="!isLoading">註冊</span> </button> </form> <div class="w-full mt-6 mb-4 text-center">其他註冊方法</div> </div> <div class="max-w-xs md:w-80 flex flex-col items-stretch justify-center no-scrollbar shrink-0 pt-4 m-auto" x-cloak x-show="currentSection === 'login'"> <h3 class="font-jinxuanlatte text-2xl leading-tight text-primary-darker mb-4">來繼續你的旅程</h3> <form method="POST" class="w-full flex flex-col items-stretch" > <div class="relative mt-4"> <input type="text" class="rounded-full w-full bg-gray-200 pl-14 pr-3 py-2.5 border-0 placeholder-content-placeholder tracking-normal" name="user_login" placeholder="電郵地址" x-model="loginForm.content.user_login"> <i class="fa-solid fa-envelope absolute top-2.5 left-6 text-content text-base"></i> </div> <div class="relative mt-4"> <input :type="loginForm.isPasswordVisible ? 'text' : 'password'" class="rounded-full w-full bg-gray-200 pl-14 pr-3 py-2.5 border-0 placeholder-content-placeholder tracking-normal" placeholder="密碼" name="user_password" x-model="loginForm.content.user_password" x-ref="loginPassword"> <i class="fa-solid fa-lock absolute top-2.5 left-6 text-content text-base"></i> <button class="absolute right-4 inset-y-0 flex items-center justify-center" type="button" tabindex="-1" @click="loginForm.isPasswordVisible = !loginForm.isPasswordVisible"> <img class="h-4 w-auto" x-show="loginForm.isPasswordVisible" src="https://www.jcthplus.org/wp-content/themes/1.0/assets/icons/hide-pwd.png" alt="Hide password icon"> <img class="h-4 w-auto" x-show="!loginForm.isPasswordVisible" src="https://www.jcthplus.org/wp-content/themes/1.0/assets/icons/show-pwd.png" alt="Show password icon"> </button> </div> <div class="mt-6 mb-4 flex flex-col sm:flex-row items-start sm:items-center justify-between space-y-4 sm:space-y-0"> <div class="flex flex-row items-center"> <input class="h-4 w-4 border border-gray-400 text-primary" type="checkbox" name="remember" id="login-remember" value="true" x-model="loginForm.content.remember"> <label for="login-remember" class="text-content text-sm ml-2">保持登入</label> </div> <button type="button" class="text-sm text-gray-500 cursor-pointer underline" @click="setCurrentSection('forget-password')">忘記密碼？</button> </div> <div id="login-error" x-show="loginForm.error" class="py-3 px-4 bg-red-100 border border-red-200 rounded-xl flex items-center"> <p class="text-content inline text-sm font-medium flex-grow" x-text="loginForm.error"></p> <img class="w-4 h-4 cursor-pointer" src="https://www.jcthplus.org/wp-content/themes/1.0/assets/icons/cross-gray.svg" alt="Close icon" @click.stop="$('#login-error').slideToggle()"> </div> <div class="g-recaptcha mt-4 mx-auto" data-sitekey="6Lcs0ykiAAAAANK6HqkcTcHgRDCHmnGE-eDiyHZg" data-callback="loginRecaptchaCallback" data-expired-callback="loginRecaptchaExpiredCallback" data-error-callback="loginRecaptchaExpiredCallback"></div> <button type="submit" name="auth-submit" value="sign-in" class="text-base font-bold text-white rounded-full h-11 flex items-center justify-center mt-12 bg-start hover:bg-start-dark disabled:opacity-30" :disabled="isLoginFormSubmitDisabled" x-data="{isLoading: false}" @click="isLoading=true"> <svg x-show="isLoading" class="animate-spin h-5 w-5 text-white mx-auto" viewBox="0 0 24 24"> <circle class="opacity-25" cx="12" cy="12" r="10" stroke="currentColor" fill="transparent" stroke-width="4"></circle> <path class="opacity-75" fill="currentColor" d="M4 12a8 8 0 018-8V0C5.373 0 0 5.373 0 12h4zm2 5.291A7.962 7.962 0 014 12H0c0 3.042 1.135 5.824 3 7.938l3-2.647z"></path> </svg> <span x-show="!isLoading">登入</span> </button> </form> <div class="w-full mt-6 mb-4 text-center">其他登入方法</div> </div> <div class="max-w-xs md:w-80 flex flex-col items-stretch justify-center no-scrollbar shrink-0 m-auto" x-cloak x-show="currentSection === 'register' || currentSection === 'login'"> <div class="w-full flex flex-row justify-center items-center space-x-6"> <div class="flex flex-col items-center space-y-2 w-16"> <button class="text-white bg-facebook rounded-full h-10 w-10 mx-auto flex items-center justify-center" @click="loginWithFacebook"><img loading="lazy" class="w-full h-auto" src="https://www.jcthplus.org/wp-content/themes/1.0/assets/icons/facebook.png" alt="Facebook SSO"></button> <div class="text-content-light text-xs tracking-normal">Facebook</div> </div> <div class="flex flex-col items-center space-y-2 w-16"> <!-- <button class="bg-white border border-gray-500 rounded-full h-10 w-10 flex justify-center items-center" id="btn-sso-google-signup"><img loading="lazy" class="w-7 h-7" src="https://www.jcthplus.org/wp-content/themes/1.0/assets/icons/google.webp" alt="Google SSO"></button> --> <div hidden id="g_id_onload" data-client_id="721583760522-5i6srb2sp6v3uc98ju31vr9appule7s5.apps.googleusercontent.com" data-context="signin" data-ux_mode="popup" data-callback="handleCredentialResponse" data-auto_prompt="false"></div> <div class="g_id_signin" data-type="icon" data-shape="circle" data-theme="outline" data-text="signin_with" data-size="large"></div> <div class="text-content-light text-xs tracking-normal">Google</div> </div> <div class="flex flex-col items-center space-y-2 w-16"> <button class="bg-black rounded-full h-10 w-10 overflow-hidden" @click="loginWithApple"><img loading="lazy" class="h-10 w-10" src="https://www.jcthplus.org/wp-content/themes/1.0/assets/icons/apple.png" alt="Apple SSO"></button> <div class="text-content-light text-xs tracking-normal">Apple</div> </div> </div> </div> <div class="max-w-xs md:w-80 flex flex-col items-stretch justify-center no-scrollbar shrink-0 m-auto" x-cloak x-show="currentSection === 'register' || currentSection === 'login'"> <div class="w-full mt-6 mb-4 text-center" x-text="`大專院校學生${currentSection === 'register' ? '註冊' : '登入'}`"></div> <div class="flex flex-row items-center justify-center flex-wrap"> <a :href="`https://www.jcthplus.org/cuhk/${currentSection}/`" class="font-bold underline text-primary-darker hover:text-primary mx-3">中文大學</a> <a href="https://sso.cedars.hku.hk/tourHeart/" class="font-bold underline text-primary-darker hover:text-primary mx-3">香港大學</a> <a href="https://tourheart.hkuspace.hku.hk/" class="font-bold underline text-primary-darker hover:text-primary mt-4">香港大學專業進修學院</a> </div> </div> <div class="max-w-xs md:w-80 flex flex-col items-stretch justify-center no-scrollbar shrink-0 pb-4 m-auto" x-cloak x-show="currentSection === 'register'"> <p class="text-base text-center my-6 text-content-light">已有帳戶？ <button type="button" class="font-bold underline text-primary-darker hover:text-primary" @click="setCurrentSection('login')">登入</button>.</p> <p class="text-xs text-content-light leading-normal">點擊「註冊」即表示你同意我們的<a href="/terms-and-conditions" target="_blank" class="underline hover:text-primary">使用條款及細則</a>，<a href="/personal-information-collection-statement" target="_blank" class="underline hover:text-primary">個人資料收集聲明</a>，<a href="/privacy-policy" target="_blank" class="underline hover:text-primary">私隱政策</a>，<a href="/cookie-policy" target="_blank" class="underline hover:text-primary">Cookie 政策</a>和<a href="/consent-form" target="_blank" class="underline hover:text-primary">同意書</a>。</p> </div> <div class="max-w-xs md:w-80 flex flex-col items-stretch justify-center no-scrollbar shrink-0 pb-4 m-auto" x-cloak x-show="currentSection === 'login'"> <p class="text-base text-center mt-8 text-content-light">還未有帳戶？ <button type="button" class="font-bold underline text-primary-darker hover:text-primary" @click="setCurrentSection('register')">現在註冊</button>.</p> </div> <div class="max-w-xs md:w-80 flex flex-col items-stretch justify-center no-scrollbar shrink-0 py-4 m-auto" x-cloak x-show="currentSection === 'forget-password'"> <h3 class="font-jinxuanlatte text-2xl leading-tight text-primary-darker mb-5">忘記你的密碼？</h3> <p class="text-primary-darker mb-4 tracking-tight">請輸入你的電郵地址。你將會收到重設密碼的電子郵件。</p> <form method="POST" class="flex flex-col items-stretch"> <div class="relative mt-4 mb-3"> <input type="text" class="rounded-full w-full bg-gray-200 pl-14 pr-3 py-2.5 border-0 placeholder-content-placeholder" name="user_login" placeholder="電郵地址" x-model="loginForm.content.user_login"> <i class="fa-solid fa-envelope absolute top-2.5 left-6 text-content text-base"></i> </div> <div id="reset-password-error" x-show="resetPasswordError" class="py-3 px-4 bg-red-100 border border-red-200 rounded-xl flex items-center"> <p class="text-content inline text-sm font-medium flex-grow" x-text="resetPasswordError"></p> <img class="w-4 h-4 cursor-pointer" src="https://www.jcthplus.org/wp-content/themes/1.0/assets/icons/cross-gray.svg" alt="Close icon" @click.stop="$('#reset-password-error').slideToggle()"> </div> <div class="g-recaptcha mt-2 mx-auto" data-sitekey="6Lcs0ykiAAAAANK6HqkcTcHgRDCHmnGE-eDiyHZg" data-callback="findPwdRecaptchaCallback" data-expired-callback="findPwdRecaptchaExpiredCallback" data-error-callback="findPwdRecaptchaExpiredCallback"></div> <button type="submit" name="auth-submit" value="reset-password" class="text-base font-bold text-white rounded-full h-11 flex items-center justify-center mt-12 bg-start hover:bg-start-dark disabled:opacity-30" :disabled="!loginForm.content.user_login || !$store.loginStore.isRecaptchaVerified.findPassword" x-data="{isLoading:false}" @click="isLoading = true"> <svg x-show="isLoading" class="animate-spin h-5 w-5 text-white mx-auto" viewBox="0 0 24 24"> <circle class="opacity-25" cx="12" cy="12" r="10" stroke="currentColor" fill="transparent" stroke-width="4"></circle> <path class="opacity-75" fill="currentColor" d="M4 12a8 8 0 018-8V0C5.373 0 0 5.373 0 12h4zm2 5.291A7.962 7.962 0 014 12H0c0 3.042 1.135 5.824 3 7.938l3-2.647z"></path> </svg> <span x-show="!isLoading">重設密碼</span> </button> </form> <button type="button" class="font-bold underline text-primary-darker hover:text-primary text-base text-center mt-8" @click="setCurrentSection('login')">返回登入</button> </div> <div class="max-w-xs md:w-80 flex flex-col items-stretch justify-center no-scrollbar shrink-0 py-4 m-auto" x-cloak x-show="currentSection === 'recovery-password-message'"> <h3 class="font-jinxuanlatte text-2xl leading-tight text-primary-darker mb-5">請查看你的電子郵箱</h3> <p class="text-primary-darker mb-5 tracking-tight">請在此輸入電郵中的六位驗證碼和新密碼。</p> <form method="POST" action="/save-my-password" class="flex flex-col items-stretch" id='save-new-password-form'> <div class="flex flex-nowrap items-center justify-between"> <input type="text" class="font-jinxuanlatte text-primary text-lg rounded-xl h-12 w-12 bg-gray-200 p-3 border-0 border-gray-400 text-center focus:outline-none placeholder-content-placeholder" name="reset_password_code[]" maxlength="1" autocomplete="null" x-model="resetPasswordForm.codes[0]" @keyup="inputKeyUp($event)" @keydown="inputKeyDown($event)" @paste="inputPaste($event)" pattern="[0-9]+"> <input type="text" class="font-jinxuanlatte text-primary text-lg rounded-xl h-12 w-12 bg-gray-200 p-3 border-0 border-gray-400 text-center focus:outline-none placeholder-content-placeholder" name="reset_password_code[]" maxlength="1" autocomplete="null" x-model="resetPasswordForm.codes[1]" @keyup="inputKeyUp($event)" @keydown="inputKeyDown($event)" @paste="inputPaste($event)" pattern="[0-9]+"> <input type="text" class="font-jinxuanlatte text-primary text-lg rounded-xl h-12 w-12 bg-gray-200 p-3 border-0 border-gray-400 text-center focus:outline-none placeholder-content-placeholder" name="reset_password_code[]" maxlength="1" autocomplete="null" x-model="resetPasswordForm.codes[2]" @keyup="inputKeyUp($event)" @keydown="inputKeyDown($event)" @paste="inputPaste($event)" pattern="[0-9]+"> <input type="text" class="font-jinxuanlatte text-primary text-lg rounded-xl h-12 w-12 bg-gray-200 p-3 border-0 border-gray-400 text-center focus:outline-none placeholder-content-placeholder" name="reset_password_code[]" maxlength="1" autocomplete="null" x-model="resetPasswordForm.codes[3]" @keyup="inputKeyUp($event)" @keydown="inputKeyDown($event)" @paste="inputPaste($event)" pattern="[0-9]+"> <input type="text" class="font-jinxuanlatte text-primary text-lg rounded-xl h-12 w-12 bg-gray-200 p-3 border-0 border-gray-400 text-center focus:outline-none placeholder-content-placeholder" name="reset_password_code[]" maxlength="1" autocomplete="null" x-model="resetPasswordForm.codes[4]" @keyup="inputKeyUp($event)" @keydown="inputKeyDown($event)" @paste="inputPaste($event)" pattern="[0-9]+"> <input type="text" class="font-jinxuanlatte text-primary text-lg rounded-xl h-12 w-12 bg-gray-200 p-3 border-0 border-gray-400 text-center focus:outline-none placeholder-content-placeholder" name="reset_password_code[]" maxlength="1" autocomplete="null" x-model="resetPasswordForm.codes[5]" @keyup="inputKeyUp($event)" @keydown="inputKeyDown($event)" @paste="inputPaste($event)" pattern="[0-9]+"> </div> <div class="relative mt-5 w-full"> <input :type="resetPasswordForm.isNewPasswordVisible ? 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max-width: 810px; height: auto; max-height: 572px;margin:auto"><br></p><p style="text-align: justify;"><strong></strong></p><p>由心理學家Amir Levine和Rachel Heller合著的《依附》裡提到，大約50%的人口屬於<strong>安全型依附風格</strong>、25%為<strong>焦慮型依附風格</strong>、25%為<strong>迴避型依附風格</strong>。依附風格的傾向沒有絕對的好壞，假如我們或伴侶有不安全型依附風格的行為，也可以透過了解自己和對方，及持續的有效溝通，來提升關係中的自在感、安全感和幸福感。</p><p>以下是心理學家們對於在親密關係中<strong>建立更安全型依附風格</strong>的建議：</p><p style="text-align: justify;"><strong></strong></p><h2><strong>1. 真誠地看看自己在關係中的模樣</strong></h2><p style="text-align: justify;">心理學家 Carl Rogers曾說：「這是個有趣又矛盾的事：當我接受真實的自己， 我才能改變。」 （The curious paradox is that when I accept myself just as I am, then I can change.）假如此刻的你，常常在關係中感到氣餒或不自在，不妨先問自己：</p><p style="text-align: center;">我<strong>理想中</strong>的關係，雙方的互動會是什麼模樣？（例如坦誠表達情緒、互相鼓勵、有交帶）</p><p style="text-align: center;">我在關係中的<strong>需求和價值觀</strong>是什麼？（例如尊重、誠實、忠誠）</p><p style="text-align: justify;">然後，再反思自己<strong>現時</strong>的依附風格傾向和行為，想想在你渴望獲得安全感，或渴望保持距離時，會出現什麼行為？（例如：在社交媒體上發佈合照來獲得安全感；已讀不回來保持距離）<strong>這些行為背後，代表了什麼需求？</strong>每個人在親密關係中的表現和需求都不同，請帶著好奇心、以不帶批判、平和的態度反思自己的需求。</p><p style="text-align: center;"><img src="/wp-content/uploads/2024/12/11234807/17_Relationship-of-Body-and-Mind.webp" alt="Relationship of Body and Mind" style="width: 100%; max-width: 486px; height: auto; max-height: 486px;margin:auto"><br></p><p style="text-align: justify;"><strong></strong></p><h2><strong>2. 開放的有效溝通</strong></h2><p style="text-align: justify;">有效溝通之所以重要，是因為我們都有不同的依附風格，情感需求也自然不同。<strong>透過有效溝通，我們能清晰地表達需求</strong>；不耍手段、不腦補、不轉彎抹角，真誠直接地說出需求。</p><p style="text-align: justify;">例如傾向焦慮型的人，對親密感的需求較強烈，需要持續確認到伴侶的承諾、關愛和支持；而傾向逃避型的人，身體和心靈上都需要和伴侶保持一定距離，需要伴侶尊重自主性、表達信任和信心。想擁有一段雙方都感覺舒服的關係，就需要與對方<strong>維持良好的溝通習慣，讓對方知道自己需要什麼</strong>，取替各種感情攻防戰，如過於逼近或刻意疏離。</p><p style="text-align: justify;">在表達需求時，可以運用<strong>「我」、「需要」、「覺得」</strong>這些詞彙，將重點專注於想法和希望達到的結果上。例如，「你在朋友面前反駁我的提議，讓<strong>我覺得</strong>自己沒有價值，<strong>我</strong>希望你可以尊重我的意見。」我們也可參考<strong><a href="https://www.jcthplus.org/article/the-4-principles-of-nonviolent-communication" target="_self">非暴力溝通</a></strong>的方法，透過觀察（陳述事實）、表達感受（陳述重視）、需要（重視價值）、請求（滿足需要） ，<strong>溫和地表達需求</strong>。例如：</p><p style="text-align: center;">「最近每次約你出街都遲到<strong>（觀察）</strong>，</p><p style="text-align: center;">我等到好唔開心，覺得冇被重視<strong>（感受）</strong>，</p><p style="text-align: center;">我想你重視番約好嘅時間<strong>（需要）</strong>。</p><p style="text-align: center;">下次準時見面<strong>（請求）</strong>，好唔好？」</p><p style="text-align: justify;">如果不習慣運用有效溝通，可以把想說的話，<strong>事先寫出來</strong>，這樣能夠<strong>更有信心地</strong>向對方表達需求。例如，最近你和伴侶之間，發生了一件令你感到不自在，但未有機會好好溝通的事情；你可以透過書寫反思事情的影響：</p><ul><li>發生了什麼事？仔細地想想自己和對方說過的話、做過的事</li><li>你如何處理？結果是怎樣的？</li><li>這件事為你帶來什麼想法、感受和情緒？</li><li>在這件事中，對方做哪些行為，能讓你更感到愛和安全感？這些行為中，哪些是你可以嘗試和對方表達及討論的？</li></ul><p style="text-align: justify;"><strong>合適的時機</strong>對於有效溝通至關重要，例如面對面溝通，相比訊息和電話更能即時回應，也更具溫度；此外，<strong>雙方皆情緒穩定的狀態</strong>下，更能有效傳達感受和需要、接住對方的分享。</p><p style="text-align: center;"><img src="/wp-content/uploads/2024/12/11234734/02_How-to-Give-Advice.webp" alt="How to Give Advice" style="width: 100%; max-width: 486px; height: auto; max-height: 486px;margin:auto"><br></p><p><strong></strong></p><h2><strong>3. 有意識地實現理想關係</strong></h2><p>我們可以從生活中找出<strong>安全型榜樣</strong>—— 那些展現出安全、健康關係的人。他們可以是伴侶、長輩、朋友、同事、治療師，以及各生活圈的人。透過觀察他們如何與人互動，我們可以重新想像安全型依附關係的模樣，並從中獲得借鏡；在遇到觸發情緒的局面，也可以試想：<strong>如果遇到相同的處境，他們會怎樣做？會用怎樣的角度看待事情？</strong></p><p>來自《依附》的「感情清單」，是一個幫助反思和實踐理想依附風格的工具。以下的例子參考了書本內容，帶領大家了解如何<strong>透過清單，反思自己在關係中的依附模式</strong>：</p><table style="width: 100%; border-collapse: collapse;"> <tbody> <tr> <td style="border: 1px solid #ccc; padding: 8px;"> <ol> <li>伴侶姓名：</li> </ol> </td> <td style="border: 1px solid #ccc; padding: 8px;"> <p>Samuel</p> </td> </tr> <tr> <td style="border: 1px solid #ccc; padding: 8px;"> <ol start="2"> <li>這段關係的狀況如何？是否有反覆發生的模式？</li> </ol> </td> <td style="border: 1px solid #ccc; padding: 8px;"> <p>我們一起了7年。他工作很忙，一天下來可能只傳一個訊息給我。我會因此感到不安，經常腦補，或者傳好幾則訊息給他時，他也只會被動的回覆；平日約會只留在家裡。</p> </td> </tr> <tr> <td style="border: 1px solid #ccc; padding: 8px;"> <ol start="3"> <li>令我在這段關係感到不安全感的引發點：</li> </ol> </td> <td style="border: 1px solid #ccc; padding: 8px;"> <p>對方被動的態度令我有「他對我的存在感到理所當然」的想法，甚至覺得「他可能已經厭倦了這份感情」。人們常說「七年之癢」，他最近冷淡的回應更是加劇了這份不安。</p> </td> </tr> <tr> <td style="border: 1px solid #ccc; padding: 8px;"> <ol start="4"> <li>我的反應（感受/ 情緒、想法、採取的行動）：</li> </ol> </td> <td style="border: 1px solid #ccc; padding: 8px;"> <p>焦慮不安；認為對方對這段感情淡了、不想維繫感情。當我回覆對方時，也慢慢變得冷淡，失去熱情。</p> </td> </tr> <tr> <td style="border: 1px solid #ccc; padding: 8px;"> <ol start="5"> <li>回應方式對關係的影響：</li> </ol> </td> <td style="border: 1px solid #ccc; padding: 8px;"> <p>自己可能在壓抑對他的情感，嘗試讓關係變得對等；可能他對我日漸冷淡的反應也有同樣感受吧。</p> </td> </tr> <tr> <td style="border: 1px solid #ccc; padding: 8px;"> <ol start="6"> <li>想想身邊有類似經歷的安全型依附朋友，他們會怎樣做？</li> </ol> </td> <td style="border: 1px solid #ccc; padding: 8px;"> <p>他們會找一個合適的時機向對方表達自己的感受與需要；一起去趟旅行、或者一起培養興趣、活動，增進感情。</p> </td> </tr> <tr> <td style="border: 1px solid #ccc; padding: 8px;"> <ol start="7"> <li>我的小反思：</li> </ol> </td> <td style="border: 1px solid #ccc; padding: 8px;"> <p>當完成清單後，我才發現自己其實正在壓抑自己的情感，意識到這些行為只會持續自己對於這段關係的不安感；了解到唯有嘗試改變回應方式，和其他積極的解決方法，才能真正維繫這段關係。</p> </td> </tr> </tbody> </table> <p><br></p><p><strong>互信的關係</strong>能逐漸療癒焦慮和逃避的傾向。此外，研究指出經常<strong>一起經歷愉快的事情</strong>，能提升逃避型依附的人的安全感。<strong>設計一些專屬彼此的時光</strong>，如一起去公園散散步、看電影或電視節目、一起煮晚餐吃；<strong>投入相處的時光</strong>、對能夠一起體驗生活<strong>表達感恩</strong>、表達<strong>對未來的期盼</strong>，也能使安全感大大提升。</p><p style="text-align: center;"><img src="/wp-content/uploads/2024/12/11234804/14_Emotion-Regulation-ABC-PLEASE.webp" alt="Emotion Regulation" style="width: 100%; max-width: 486px; height: auto; max-height: 486px;margin:auto"><br></p><p><strong></strong></p><h2><strong>4. 提醒自我價值所在</strong></h2><p>在反思自己依附風格和學習有效溝通的同時，也請不要忘記自己本來的光芒。<strong>思考自己的興趣、長處和才能、成就和成長；留意自己的內心對話</strong>，腦海裡有沒有好好肯定和鼓勵自己？也可以挑戰一直以來對自己的懷疑，或自視的弱點。</p><p>有關依附風格的研究指出，許多參與者分享，隨著他們意識到<strong>自我的消極想法</strong>未必是正確後，他們學習<strong>培養更積極的自我形象</strong>，自我價值得以提升，並能以<strong>更具安全感而非恐懼的心態</strong>來面對人際關係。</p><p style="text-align: center;"><img src="/wp-content/uploads/2024/12/11234838/Card_25.webp" alt="self-love" style="width: 100%; max-width: 255px; height: auto; max-height: 339px;margin:auto"><br></p><p style="text-align: justify;"><strong>每個人都有自己的課題要克服，所以愛從來都不是容易的事。</strong>無論你的依附風格傾向於安全還是不安全型，如果關係中的你倆也願意理解、陪伴對方走過那些矛盾與糾結，這樣的愛可能更顯深刻。透過了解和覺察彼此的依附風格、肯定自我價值和需要、學習有效溝通、有意識地實現理想關係，關係也能自在地向前推進。</p><p style="text-align: justify;"><br></p><p style="text-align: justify;"><strong>文獻/ 文章參考：</strong></p><p style="text-align: justify;">Levine, A., & Heller, R. (2010). <em>Attached: The new science of adult attachment and how it can help you find—and keep—love</em>. TarcherPerigee.<br></p> <p class="apa"> Dansby Olufowote, R. A., Fife, S. T., Schleiden, C., & Whiting, J. B. (2020). How Can I Become More Secure?: A Grounded Theory of Earning Secure Attachment. <em>Journal of marital and family therapy</em>, 46(3), 489–506. <a class="reference" href="https://doi.org/10.1111/jmft.12409" target="_self">https://doi.org/10.1111/jmft.12409</a> </p> <p class="apa"> Bayraktaroglu, D., Gunaydin, G., Selcuk, E., Besken, M., & Karakitapoglu-Aygun, Z. (2023). The role of positive relationship events in romantic attachment avoidance. <em>Journal of Personality and Social Psychology</em>, 124(5), 958–970. <a class="reference" href="https://doi.org/10.1037/pspi0000406" target="_self">https://doi.org/10.1037/pspi0000406</a> </p> <p class="apa"> Mark Travers. (2024). 3 Ways To ‘Reprogram’ An Insecure Attachment Style, From A Psychologist. <em>Forbes</em>. Retrieved from </p><p><a href="https://www.forbes.com/sites/traversmark/2024/01/15/3-ways-to-reprogram-an-insecure-attachment-style-from-a-psychologist/" target="_self"></a></p><p xmlns="http://www.w3.org/1999/xhtml" class="apa"><a class="reference" href="https://www.forbes.com/sites/traversmark/2024/01/15/3-ways-to-reprogram-an-insecure-attachment-style-from-a-psychologist/" target="_self">https://www.forbes.com/sites/traversmark/2024/01/15/3-ways-to-reprogram-an-insecure-attachment-style-from-a-psychologist/ </a></p><p class="apa"> Mark Travers. (2024). 3 Steps For Creating A Deeply Secure Relationship, From A Psychologist. <em>Forbes</em>. 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