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}, showMega(type) { if (type != this.currentVisibleMega) { switch (type) { case "about": this.showAboutMega(); break; case "topics": this.showTopicsMega(); break; case "events": this.showEventsMega(); break; case "articles": this.showArticlesMega(); break; case "interactive": this.showInteractiveMega(); break; case "university": this.showUniversityMega(); break; default: this.hideAllMega(); this.currentVisibleMega = type; break; } } } })) }); $(".menu-item a").on("focus", function() { const id = $(this).closest(".menu-item").attr("id"); const showEvent = new Event(`show-mega-${id}`); window.dispatchEvent(showEvent); }); $(".menu-item a").on("blur", function() { setTimeout(() => { console.log("blur"); if ($(".menu-item a:focus").length == 0) { const hideEvent = new Event("hide-all-mega"); window.dispatchEvent(hideEvent); } }, 100); }); </script> <div id="login-form" class="fixed inset-0 h-screen w-screen z-50 overflow-y-scroll no-scrollbar bg-white md:bg-page bg-center bg-cover bg-no-repeat flex flex-row items-stretch justify-center lg:justify-start" x-data="loginData" x-cloak x-show="isLoginPanelVisible" @toggle-login-panel.window="toggleLoginPanel($event.detail)"> <button @click="toggleLoginPanel" class="w-6 h-6 hidden sm:block absolute top-8 right-8"> <img class="lg:hidden" src="https://www.jcthplus.org/wp-content/themes/1.0/assets/icons/cross-gray.svg" alt="Close icon" > <img class="hidden lg:block" src="https://www.jcthplus.org/wp-content/themes/1.0/assets/icons/cross-white.svg" alt="Close icon"> </button> <div class="hidden lg:flex flex-grow max-w-1/2 lg:justify-end xl:justify-center px-10"> <div class="max-w-112 text-5xl font-jinxuanlatte leading-tight text-primary-darker pt-1/4 lg:ml-10" x-show="currentSection == 'login'" x-cloak>歡迎回來<br>一起將照顧自己變成習慣</div> <div class="max-w-112 text-5xl font-jinxuanlatte leading-tight text-primary-darker pt-1/4 lg:ml-10" x-show="currentSection == 'register'" x-cloak>免費登記，開展從心出發之旅。</div> </div> <div class="flex-shrink-0 w-full h-full sm:w-133 bg-white flex flex-col items-center px-4 overflow-y-auto" id="login-form-container"> <div class="w-full sm:hidden pt-4"> <img class="w-6 h-6 cursor-pointer float-right" @click="toggleLoginPanel" src="https://www.jcthplus.org/wp-content/themes/1.0/assets/icons/cross-gray.svg" alt="Close icon" > </div> <div class="flex flex-col items-center mb-32 sm:m-auto"> <div class="max-w-xs md:w-80 flex flex-col items-stretch justify-center no-scrollbar shrink-0 pt-4 m-auto" x-cloak x-show="currentSection === 'register'"> <h3 class="font-jinxuanlatte text-2xl leading-tight text-primary-darker mb-4">我們關注你的個人資料私隱</h3> <p class="text-primary-darker mb-4 tracking-tight">我們不會向第三方透露閣下的個人資料；同時你的身份亦不會被辨認。</p> <form method="POST" class="w-full flex flex-col items-stretch" id="register_form"> <div class="relative"> <input type="email" class="rounded-full w-full bg-gray-200 pl-14 pr-3 py-2.5 border-0 placeholder-content-placeholder tracking-normal" placeholder="電郵地址" required name="user_login" x-model="registerForm.content.user_login"> <i class="fa-solid fa-fw fa-envelope absolute top-2.5 left-6 text-content text-base"></i> </div> <div class="relative mt-4"> <input :type="registerForm.isPasswordVisible ? 'text' : 'password'" class="rounded-full w-full bg-gray-200 pl-14 pr-3 py-2.5 border-0 placeholder-content-placeholder tracking-normal" placeholder="密碼 (最少8個英文字母或符號)" name="user_password" minlength="8" required x-model="registerForm.content.user_password" x-ref="registerPassword"> <i class="fa-solid fa-fw fa-lock absolute top-2.5 left-6 text-content text-base"></i> <button class="absolute right-4 inset-y-0 flex items-center justify-center" type="button" @click="registerForm.isPasswordVisible = !registerForm.isPasswordVisible"> <img class="w-5 h-auto" x-show="registerForm.isPasswordVisible" src="https://www.jcthplus.org/wp-content/themes/1.0/assets/icons/hide-pwd.png" alt="Hide password icon"> <img class="w-5 h-auto" x-show="!registerForm.isPasswordVisible" src="https://www.jcthplus.org/wp-content/themes/1.0/assets/icons/show-pwd.png" alt="Show password icon"> </button> </div> <div class="relative mt-4"> <input teype="text" class="rounded-full w-full bg-gray-200 pl-14 pr-3 py-2.5 border-0 placeholder-content-placeholder tracking-normal" placeholder="推薦碼 (如適用)" name="company_code" x-model="registerForm.content.company_code"> <i class="fa-solid fa-fw fa-building absolute top-2 left-6 text-content text-base"></i> <button class="absolute right-4 inset-y-0 flex items-center justify-center company-code-icon" type="button"> <img class="h-4 w-auto" src="https://www.jcthplus.org/wp-content/themes/1.0/assets/icons/info.png" alt="Information icon"> <div class="absolute -right-4 top-10 bg-gray-600 text-white w-72 py-2 px-4 rounded text-xs z-10 company-code-tooltip"> <p class="text-primary-light text-sm text-center mb-2">甚麼是推薦碼？</p> <p class="text-left mb-2">如果你的機構或公司正與 JCTH+ 合作，或你被選為我們的研究參加者，你應該會收到一個代碼，以便我們為你作出後續安排。</p> <p class="text-left">想了解更多？歡迎電郵至 <a href="mailto:info@jcthplus.org" class="text-primary-light underline">info@jcthplus.org</a></p> </div> </button> </div> <div class="my-4 flex flex-row items-center leading-loose"> <input class="h-4 w-4 border border-gray-400 text-primary" type="checkbox" name="opt_out_update" id="checkbox_opt_out_update" x-model="registerForm.content.opt_out_update"> <label class="text-content text-sm ml-3 tracking-tight" for="checkbox_opt_out_update">我不想接收最新消息和活動通知</label> </div> <div id="register-error" x-show="registerForm.error" class="py-2 px-4 bg-red-100 border border-red-200 rounded-xl flex items-center"> <p class="text-content inline text-sm font-medium flex-grow" x-text="registerForm.error"></p> <img class="w-4 h-4 cursor-pointer" src="https://www.jcthplus.org/wp-content/themes/1.0/assets/icons/cross-gray.svg" alt="Close icon" @click.stop="$('#register-error').slideToggle()"> </div> <div class="g-recaptcha mt-2 mx-auto" data-sitekey="6Lcs0ykiAAAAANK6HqkcTcHgRDCHmnGE-eDiyHZg" data-callback="registerRecaptchaCallback" data-expired-callback="registerRecaptchaExpiredCallback" data-error-callback="registerRecaptchaExpiredCallback"></div> <button type="submit" name="auth-submit" value="sign-up" class="text-base font-bold text-white rounded-full h-11 flex items-center justify-center mt-4 bg-start hover:bg-start-dark disabled:opacity-30" :disabled="isRegisterFormSubmitDisabled" x-data="{isLoading:false}" @click="if($('#register_form')[0].checkValidity()) {isLoading = true}"> <svg x-show="isLoading" class="animate-spin h-5 w-5 text-white mx-auto" viewBox="0 0 24 24"> <circle class="opacity-25" cx="12" cy="12" r="10" stroke="currentColor" fill="transparent" stroke-width="4"></circle> <path class="opacity-75" fill="currentColor" d="M4 12a8 8 0 018-8V0C5.373 0 0 5.373 0 12h4zm2 5.291A7.962 7.962 0 014 12H0c0 3.042 1.135 5.824 3 7.938l3-2.647z"></path> </svg> <span x-show="!isLoading">註冊</span> </button> </form> <div class="w-full mt-6 mb-4 text-center">其他註冊方法</div> </div> <div class="max-w-xs md:w-80 flex flex-col items-stretch justify-center no-scrollbar shrink-0 pt-4 m-auto" x-cloak x-show="currentSection === 'login'"> <h3 class="font-jinxuanlatte text-2xl leading-tight text-primary-darker mb-4">來繼續你的旅程</h3> <form method="POST" class="w-full flex flex-col items-stretch" > <div class="relative mt-4"> <input type="text" class="rounded-full w-full bg-gray-200 pl-14 pr-3 py-2.5 border-0 placeholder-content-placeholder tracking-normal" name="user_login" placeholder="電郵地址" x-model="loginForm.content.user_login"> <i class="fa-solid fa-envelope absolute top-2.5 left-6 text-content text-base"></i> </div> <div class="relative mt-4"> <input :type="loginForm.isPasswordVisible ? 'text' : 'password'" class="rounded-full w-full bg-gray-200 pl-14 pr-3 py-2.5 border-0 placeholder-content-placeholder tracking-normal" placeholder="密碼" name="user_password" x-model="loginForm.content.user_password" x-ref="loginPassword"> <i class="fa-solid fa-lock absolute top-2.5 left-6 text-content text-base"></i> <button class="absolute right-4 inset-y-0 flex items-center justify-center" type="button" tabindex="-1" @click="loginForm.isPasswordVisible = !loginForm.isPasswordVisible"> <img class="h-4 w-auto" x-show="loginForm.isPasswordVisible" src="https://www.jcthplus.org/wp-content/themes/1.0/assets/icons/hide-pwd.png" alt="Hide password icon"> <img class="h-4 w-auto" x-show="!loginForm.isPasswordVisible" src="https://www.jcthplus.org/wp-content/themes/1.0/assets/icons/show-pwd.png" alt="Show password icon"> </button> </div> <div class="mt-6 mb-4 flex flex-col sm:flex-row items-start sm:items-center justify-between space-y-4 sm:space-y-0"> <div class="flex flex-row items-center"> <input class="h-4 w-4 border border-gray-400 text-primary" type="checkbox" name="remember" id="login-remember" value="true" x-model="loginForm.content.remember"> <label for="login-remember" class="text-content text-sm ml-2">保持登入</label> </div> <button type="button" class="text-sm text-gray-500 cursor-pointer underline" @click="setCurrentSection('forget-password')">忘記密碼？</button> </div> <div id="login-error" x-show="loginForm.error" class="py-3 px-4 bg-red-100 border border-red-200 rounded-xl flex items-center"> <p class="text-content inline text-sm font-medium flex-grow" x-text="loginForm.error"></p> <img class="w-4 h-4 cursor-pointer" src="https://www.jcthplus.org/wp-content/themes/1.0/assets/icons/cross-gray.svg" alt="Close icon" @click.stop="$('#login-error').slideToggle()"> </div> <div class="g-recaptcha mt-4 mx-auto" data-sitekey="6Lcs0ykiAAAAANK6HqkcTcHgRDCHmnGE-eDiyHZg" data-callback="loginRecaptchaCallback" data-expired-callback="loginRecaptchaExpiredCallback" data-error-callback="loginRecaptchaExpiredCallback"></div> <button type="submit" name="auth-submit" value="sign-in" class="text-base font-bold text-white rounded-full h-11 flex items-center justify-center mt-12 bg-start hover:bg-start-dark disabled:opacity-30" :disabled="isLoginFormSubmitDisabled" x-data="{isLoading: false}" @click="isLoading=true"> <svg x-show="isLoading" class="animate-spin h-5 w-5 text-white mx-auto" viewBox="0 0 24 24"> <circle class="opacity-25" cx="12" cy="12" r="10" stroke="currentColor" fill="transparent" stroke-width="4"></circle> <path class="opacity-75" fill="currentColor" d="M4 12a8 8 0 018-8V0C5.373 0 0 5.373 0 12h4zm2 5.291A7.962 7.962 0 014 12H0c0 3.042 1.135 5.824 3 7.938l3-2.647z"></path> </svg> <span x-show="!isLoading">登入</span> </button> </form> <div class="w-full mt-6 mb-4 text-center">其他登入方法</div> </div> <div class="max-w-xs md:w-80 flex flex-col items-stretch justify-center no-scrollbar shrink-0 m-auto" x-cloak x-show="currentSection === 'register' || currentSection === 'login'"> <div class="w-full flex flex-row justify-center items-center space-x-6"> <div class="flex flex-col items-center space-y-2 w-16"> <button class="text-white bg-facebook rounded-full h-10 w-10 mx-auto flex items-center justify-center" @click="loginWithFacebook"><img loading="lazy" class="w-full h-auto" src="https://www.jcthplus.org/wp-content/themes/1.0/assets/icons/facebook.png" alt="Facebook SSO"></button> <div class="text-content-light text-xs tracking-normal">Facebook</div> </div> <div class="flex flex-col items-center space-y-2 w-16"> <!-- <button class="bg-white border border-gray-500 rounded-full h-10 w-10 flex justify-center items-center" id="btn-sso-google-signup"><img loading="lazy" class="w-7 h-7" src="https://www.jcthplus.org/wp-content/themes/1.0/assets/icons/google.webp" alt="Google SSO"></button> --> <div hidden id="g_id_onload" data-client_id="721583760522-5i6srb2sp6v3uc98ju31vr9appule7s5.apps.googleusercontent.com" data-context="signin" data-ux_mode="popup" data-callback="handleCredentialResponse" data-auto_prompt="false"></div> <div class="g_id_signin" data-type="icon" data-shape="circle" data-theme="outline" data-text="signin_with" data-size="large"></div> <div class="text-content-light text-xs tracking-normal">Google</div> </div> <div class="flex flex-col items-center space-y-2 w-16"> <button class="bg-black rounded-full h-10 w-10 overflow-hidden" @click="loginWithApple"><img loading="lazy" class="h-10 w-10" src="https://www.jcthplus.org/wp-content/themes/1.0/assets/icons/apple.png" alt="Apple SSO"></button> <div class="text-content-light text-xs tracking-normal">Apple</div> </div> </div> </div> <div class="max-w-xs md:w-80 flex flex-col items-stretch justify-center no-scrollbar shrink-0 m-auto" x-cloak x-show="currentSection === 'register' || currentSection === 'login'"> <div class="w-full mt-6 mb-4 text-center" x-text="`大專院校學生${currentSection === 'register' ? '註冊' : '登入'}`"></div> <div class="flex flex-row items-center justify-center flex-wrap"> <a :href="`https://www.jcthplus.org/cuhk/${currentSection}/`" class="font-bold underline text-primary-darker hover:text-primary mx-3">中文大學</a> <a href="https://sso.cedars.hku.hk/tourHeart/" class="font-bold underline text-primary-darker hover:text-primary mx-3">香港大學</a> <a href="https://tourheart.hkuspace.hku.hk/" class="font-bold underline text-primary-darker hover:text-primary mt-4">香港大學專業進修學院</a> </div> </div> <div class="max-w-xs md:w-80 flex flex-col items-stretch justify-center no-scrollbar shrink-0 pb-4 m-auto" x-cloak x-show="currentSection === 'register'"> <p class="text-base text-center my-6 text-content-light">已有帳戶？ <button type="button" class="font-bold underline text-primary-darker hover:text-primary" @click="setCurrentSection('login')">登入</button>.</p> <p class="text-xs text-content-light leading-normal">點擊「註冊」即表示你同意我們的<a href="/terms-and-conditions" target="_blank" class="underline hover:text-primary">使用條款及細則</a>，<a href="/personal-information-collection-statement" target="_blank" class="underline hover:text-primary">個人資料收集聲明</a>，<a href="/privacy-policy" target="_blank" class="underline hover:text-primary">私隱政策</a>，<a href="/cookie-policy" target="_blank" class="underline hover:text-primary">Cookie 政策</a>和<a href="/consent-form" target="_blank" class="underline hover:text-primary">同意書</a>。</p> </div> <div class="max-w-xs md:w-80 flex flex-col items-stretch justify-center no-scrollbar shrink-0 pb-4 m-auto" x-cloak x-show="currentSection === 'login'"> <p class="text-base text-center mt-8 text-content-light">還未有帳戶？ <button type="button" class="font-bold underline text-primary-darker hover:text-primary" @click="setCurrentSection('register')">現在註冊</button>.</p> </div> <div class="max-w-xs md:w-80 flex flex-col items-stretch justify-center no-scrollbar shrink-0 py-4 m-auto" x-cloak x-show="currentSection === 'forget-password'"> <h3 class="font-jinxuanlatte text-2xl leading-tight text-primary-darker mb-5">忘記你的密碼？</h3> <p class="text-primary-darker mb-4 tracking-tight">請輸入你的電郵地址。你將會收到重設密碼的電子郵件。</p> <form method="POST" class="flex flex-col items-stretch"> <div class="relative mt-4 mb-3"> <input type="text" class="rounded-full w-full bg-gray-200 pl-14 pr-3 py-2.5 border-0 placeholder-content-placeholder" name="user_login" placeholder="電郵地址" x-model="loginForm.content.user_login"> <i class="fa-solid fa-envelope absolute top-2.5 left-6 text-content text-base"></i> </div> <div id="reset-password-error" x-show="resetPasswordError" class="py-3 px-4 bg-red-100 border border-red-200 rounded-xl flex items-center"> <p class="text-content inline text-sm font-medium flex-grow" x-text="resetPasswordError"></p> <img class="w-4 h-4 cursor-pointer" src="https://www.jcthplus.org/wp-content/themes/1.0/assets/icons/cross-gray.svg" alt="Close icon" @click.stop="$('#reset-password-error').slideToggle()"> </div> <div class="g-recaptcha mt-2 mx-auto" data-sitekey="6Lcs0ykiAAAAANK6HqkcTcHgRDCHmnGE-eDiyHZg" data-callback="findPwdRecaptchaCallback" data-expired-callback="findPwdRecaptchaExpiredCallback" data-error-callback="findPwdRecaptchaExpiredCallback"></div> <button type="submit" name="auth-submit" value="reset-password" class="text-base font-bold text-white rounded-full h-11 flex items-center justify-center mt-12 bg-start hover:bg-start-dark disabled:opacity-30" :disabled="!loginForm.content.user_login || !$store.loginStore.isRecaptchaVerified.findPassword" x-data="{isLoading:false}" @click="isLoading = true"> <svg x-show="isLoading" class="animate-spin h-5 w-5 text-white mx-auto" viewBox="0 0 24 24"> <circle class="opacity-25" cx="12" cy="12" r="10" stroke="currentColor" fill="transparent" stroke-width="4"></circle> <path class="opacity-75" fill="currentColor" d="M4 12a8 8 0 018-8V0C5.373 0 0 5.373 0 12h4zm2 5.291A7.962 7.962 0 014 12H0c0 3.042 1.135 5.824 3 7.938l3-2.647z"></path> </svg> <span x-show="!isLoading">重設密碼</span> </button> </form> <button type="button" class="font-bold underline text-primary-darker hover:text-primary text-base text-center mt-8" @click="setCurrentSection('login')">返回登入</button> </div> <div class="max-w-xs md:w-80 flex flex-col items-stretch justify-center no-scrollbar shrink-0 py-4 m-auto" x-cloak x-show="currentSection === 'recovery-password-message'"> <h3 class="font-jinxuanlatte text-2xl leading-tight text-primary-darker mb-5">請查看你的電子郵箱</h3> <p class="text-primary-darker mb-5 tracking-tight">請在此輸入電郵中的六位驗證碼和新密碼。</p> <form method="POST" action="/save-my-password" class="flex flex-col items-stretch" id='save-new-password-form'> <div class="flex flex-nowrap items-center justify-between"> <input type="text" class="font-jinxuanlatte text-primary text-lg rounded-xl h-12 w-12 bg-gray-200 p-3 border-0 border-gray-400 text-center focus:outline-none placeholder-content-placeholder" name="reset_password_code[]" maxlength="1" autocomplete="null" x-model="resetPasswordForm.codes[0]" @keyup="inputKeyUp($event)" @keydown="inputKeyDown($event)" @paste="inputPaste($event)" pattern="[0-9]+"> <input type="text" class="font-jinxuanlatte text-primary text-lg rounded-xl h-12 w-12 bg-gray-200 p-3 border-0 border-gray-400 text-center focus:outline-none placeholder-content-placeholder" name="reset_password_code[]" maxlength="1" autocomplete="null" x-model="resetPasswordForm.codes[1]" @keyup="inputKeyUp($event)" @keydown="inputKeyDown($event)" @paste="inputPaste($event)" pattern="[0-9]+"> <input type="text" class="font-jinxuanlatte text-primary text-lg rounded-xl h-12 w-12 bg-gray-200 p-3 border-0 border-gray-400 text-center focus:outline-none placeholder-content-placeholder" name="reset_password_code[]" maxlength="1" autocomplete="null" x-model="resetPasswordForm.codes[2]" @keyup="inputKeyUp($event)" @keydown="inputKeyDown($event)" @paste="inputPaste($event)" pattern="[0-9]+"> <input type="text" class="font-jinxuanlatte text-primary text-lg rounded-xl h-12 w-12 bg-gray-200 p-3 border-0 border-gray-400 text-center focus:outline-none placeholder-content-placeholder" name="reset_password_code[]" maxlength="1" autocomplete="null" x-model="resetPasswordForm.codes[3]" @keyup="inputKeyUp($event)" @keydown="inputKeyDown($event)" @paste="inputPaste($event)" pattern="[0-9]+"> <input type="text" class="font-jinxuanlatte text-primary text-lg rounded-xl h-12 w-12 bg-gray-200 p-3 border-0 border-gray-400 text-center focus:outline-none placeholder-content-placeholder" name="reset_password_code[]" maxlength="1" autocomplete="null" x-model="resetPasswordForm.codes[4]" @keyup="inputKeyUp($event)" @keydown="inputKeyDown($event)" @paste="inputPaste($event)" pattern="[0-9]+"> <input type="text" class="font-jinxuanlatte text-primary text-lg rounded-xl h-12 w-12 bg-gray-200 p-3 border-0 border-gray-400 text-center focus:outline-none placeholder-content-placeholder" name="reset_password_code[]" maxlength="1" autocomplete="null" x-model="resetPasswordForm.codes[5]" @keyup="inputKeyUp($event)" @keydown="inputKeyDown($event)" @paste="inputPaste($event)" pattern="[0-9]+"> </div> <div class="relative mt-5 w-full"> <input :type="resetPasswordForm.isNewPasswordVisible ? 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max-width: 818px; height: auto; max-height: 578px;" alt="set travel"></p><p>本來信心滿滿，這刻卻猶豫退縮？本來正要展開準備已久的新挑戰，這刻內心卻被恐懼不安所佔據，渴望逃離前面的重重障礙？</p><p><strong>這些難以言喻，微少而重大的時刻，你我都可能曾經歷過。你可曾試過：</strong></p><ul><li>下週有工作面試，對工作內容很感興趣的你，一心想在週末做足準備；卻選擇打開Instagram和threads看動態，再煲Netflix的新劇，拖延到週日晚才開始準備</li><li>心儀對象約你吃飯，腦海本來被粉紅色泡泡包圍的你，最後卻找藉口推搪不赴約</li><li>希望透過參加學會結交朋友，卻又預感自己會格格不入，而不出席活動</li><li>當事情不似預期，內心出現自我批判小劇場，例如：我真的搞砸了，我就知道自己做不來</li></ul><p>在生活的不同範疇，例如學業、事業、人際關係，我們都有自己一套待人接物的方式，反映我們的思想和價值觀。然而，如上述幾個例子，有時我們的行為，卻偏偏和自己真實的想法和目標背道而馳。有人形容這是“self-sabotaging”（自我破壞），指的是<strong>當一個人有意識或無意識地採取自我破壞的行為</strong><strong>，以避免面對棘手或不舒服的想法和感受，而影響著自己的長遠目標，並帶來困擾。</strong></p><p><img src="/wp-content/uploads/2024/03/Conflict-scaled.webp" alt="conflict" style="width: 100%; max-width: 528px; height: auto; max-height: 529px;margin:auto"><strong><br></strong></p><p><strong></strong></p><h2><strong>為什麼我們會自我破壞？</strong></h2><p>「自我破壞」聽起來好像「自己是自己的敵人」，但其實我們可以<strong>將看清這些有意識或無意識的行為，視為</strong><strong>深層了解自己、帶有覺察地反思行為對自身的好與壞，從而作出改變，突破生活樽頸的契機。</strong></p><ul><li><strong>有意識的自我破壞：</strong>你知道自己的行為或會<strong>影響自己達成長期目標</strong><strong>，仍選擇去做</strong>。例如，明天需要進行演講，還未完成簡報的你選擇看Netflix。</li><li><strong>無意識的自我破壞：</strong>你的行為或會影響自己達成長期目標，<strong>儘管你</strong><strong>並未為意</strong>。例如，你希望每逢週五晚能留家放空休息，但當另一半邀請你參加週五晚的興趣班時，你卻因不懂拒絕而答應。</li></ul><p>自我破壞在日常以不同形式出現，例如<strong>拖延、慢性焦慮、過份自我批評、依賴藥物和酒精、害怕在親密關係中表露自己、完美主義等</strong>。有心理學家認為，<strong>我們自我破壞的原因，往往並非真的想破壞自己的生活</strong>。反而，更大的原因是<strong>想保護自己——例如保護自尊、避免被不安全和焦慮感所淹沒</strong>，故有人形容這是「無意識的生存策略（unconscious survival strategy）」。</p><p><strong>引致自我破壞的原因各不相同，包括但不限於：</strong></p><ol><li>擁有較低的自尊</li><li>不一致的想法和信念</li><li>害怕改變</li><li>害怕失敗，或曾經歷失敗，害怕再次面對</li><li>經常不被別人認可（例如童年時期經常被否定）</li><li>掌控事情的需要</li><li>社會規範和同儕壓力</li><li>不良習慣，如過度/ 不節制喝酒</li></ol><p><strong></strong></p><h2><img src="/wp-content/uploads/2024/03/18_Distressed_Making_Plans.webp" alt="distressed making"><strong><br></strong></h2><h2><strong>「自我實現預言」和自我破壞的循環</strong></h2><p>自我破壞的出現，有時會帶來不自覺的惡性循環，以下是一個小例子：</p><ol><li><strong>固有的自我認知</strong>：我認為自己總是無法在演講時充分發揮</li><li><strong>出現機會：</strong>學會成員們希望我能透過演講，為學會作宣傳，將理念發揚光大</li><li><strong>出現消極思想：</strong>萬一演講不成功，我會連累到學會的形象，影響後續的會員人數</li><li><strong>觸發舊有的消極觀念：</strong>回想過去未能應付演講的片段</li><li><strong>自我破壞行為：</strong>遲遲拖延，不準備講辭，逃避接收相關的資訊</li></ol><p>當自我破壞的循環出現，帶來不符理想的結果，或會<strong>加強內心的想法和信念</strong>，出現<strong>自我實現預言（self-fulfilling prophecy）</strong>；即個人對事件的想法和期望，<strong>導致相應的結果發生，繼而強化了該想法和期望，令當事人更加相信原先的想法是真的</strong>。</p><p><img src="/wp-content/uploads/2024/03/1_Weight_Lifting.webp" alt="weight lifting"><br></p><p><strong></strong></p><h2><strong>以新習慣突破自我破壞</strong></h2><p><strong>（1）觀察和記錄自我破壞的行為模式：</strong></p><ul><li><span style="font-size: 1em; font-family: var(--bs-font-sans-serif);">留意並寫下</span><strong style="font-size: 1em; font-family: var(--bs-font-sans-serif);">壓力的來源，自己的行為、思想、情緒及身體反應</strong><span style="font-size: 1em; font-family: var(--bs-font-sans-serif);">，和及後的自我破壞行為</span></li><li><span style="font-size: 1em; font-family: var(--bs-font-sans-serif);">分析行為和想法是否包含任何</span><strong style="font-size: 1em; font-family: var(--bs-font-sans-serif);">消極信念</strong></li><li><span style="font-size: 1em; font-family: var(--bs-font-sans-serif);">反思自我破壞行為的</span><strong style="font-size: 1em; font-family: var(--bs-font-sans-serif);">目的</strong></li></ul><p><strong>（2）明白自我破壞背後的需求</strong></p><ul><li>例如，如果你經常拖延，你需要理解拖延<strong>滿足了你的什麼內在需要</strong>。例如是避免你對失敗（或成功）的恐懼</li><li>理解自我破壞背後的需求，並以其他行為來取替</li><li>作出改變的同時，不要忘記對自己帶著溫柔的理解</li><li><strong>接納自己的不同面向，意識每個人都有局限和成長空間</strong>；對自己保持誠實，從錯誤中學習，並為行為負責任</li></ul><p><strong>（3）以替代行為來滿足內在需求</strong></p><ul><li>例如，暴飲暴食是為了緩解工作壓力，你可以列出身邊從事高壓工作的朋友，發掘他們<strong>緩解壓力的方式</strong></li><li><strong>寫成個人化的替代清單，並嘗試實施</strong></li></ul><p><strong>（4）預視和計劃如何應對潛在挑戰</strong></p><ul><li>如果你經常透過打機來拖延，你可以嘗試花20分鐘散步來解決拖延、也可以考慮刪除手機上的遊戲、或到不容易接觸到電子遊戲的地方工作，例如去咖啡店而非在家工作、和朋友或同事結伴工作，互相督促和鼓勵</li></ul><p><strong>（5）將你的新行為與個人價值觀/ 目的聯繫起來</strong></p><ul><li>反思新行為如何幫助自己實現長遠的目標，確立<strong>意義感</strong></li></ul><p><strong><br></strong></p><p><strong>了解自我破壞背後的原因和機制，能讓我們更清楚自己的需要</strong>；要越過「自我破壞」這座山丘，我們需要做深層次的內在功課。高山低谷也是成長的養分，看過自己內心山巒交錯的風景，我們也許會更懂得如何體驗生命這趟旅程。</p><p><img src="/wp-content/uploads/2024/03/7_Explore.webp" alt="explore"><br></p><p><br></p><p><strong> 參考文獻/ 文章： </strong></p><p class="apa"> Rosner, S., & Hermes, P. (2006). The self-sabotage cycle: Why we repeat behaviors that create hardships and ruin relationships. Bloomsbury Publishing USA. </p> <p class="apa"> Cox, S. (2017). How to defeat self-sabotaging behaviors. Nursing Management, 48(4), 56. </p> <p class="apa"> Vennes, H. (2022). Overcoming Self-Sabotage: The Self-Sabotaging Behaviors that Impact the Career Development of Female Charter School Superintendent/CEOs (Doctoral dissertation, University of Massachusetts Global). </p> <p class="apa"> Sandor, A. L. (2022). Shattering your own glass ceiling: The self-sabotaging behaviors of secondary female principals and strategies used to overcome them (Doctoral dissertation, University of Massachusetts Global). </p> <p class="apa"> Baumeister, R. F., & Scher, S. J. (1988). Self-defeating behavior patterns among normal individuals: review and analysis of common self-destructive tendencies. 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'bg-primary-light' : 'bg-gray-100']"> <div x-show="message.content_type=='text'" x-html="message.content_data"></div> <div x-show="message.content_type=='image-url'" class="p-0"><image :src="(message.content_type=='image-url') ? message.content_data : ''"></div> <div x-show="message.content_type=='audio-url'"> <audio class="" controls :src="(message.content_type=='audio-url') ? message.content_data : ''" tabIndex="1"></audio> </div> <div x-show="message.content_type=='video-url'" class="chatbot-video-bubble"> <div class="w-full aspect-w-16 aspect-h-16 md:aspect-h-9"> <!-- <video controls ><soruce src="message.content_data">Your browser does not support the audio tag.</audio> --> <iframe loading=lazy :src="(message.content_type=='video-url') ? `${message.content_data}?modestbranding=1&rel=0` : ''" class="absolute inset-0 h-full video" frameborder="0" allow="accelerometer; clipboard-write; encrypted-media; gyroscope; picture-in-picture" allowfullscreen>
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